Let me start off by thanking you all again for your overwhelming support in April. I am still reeling. I had no idea that my pandemic rant would be so well received. Thank you all from the very bottom of my heart! You literally saved me from entering into a very deep downward spiral of fear and panic that my business would all but collapse in a matter of days.
We are now well into May. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and Mother’s Day has come and gone. I have to accept that despite my best efforts, I somehow always feel a bit “off” at this time of year. I lost my mom over 12 years ago and in many ways it’s still almost as hard as it was then. I’m not curled up in a ball on the floor anymore, but the very large hole in my heart is very much still there. I miss her. I always do, but even more so on Hallmark holidays. I’m sure anyone who has lost someone they love can relate. Add to that, the realization that I have now effectively lost my perfectly healthy grownup son.
He is indeed, very much alive and well, but he is focused on his own beautiful family now and has very little time left to spend with me. He drove me absolutely bonkers most of the time when he was younger, but sometimes I just wish he was still little and didn’t cower away in disgust when I try to give him a kiss on the cheek. So, this Mothers Day, having no mom and a son who is busy with his own life, I spent most of the day alone, happily gardening. I mostly felt ok, until I wasn’t.
Things are so complicated now, anyway, with the need to socially distance and health authorities still strongly advising us to stay away from our family that we don't live with. I have to admit I’m feeling pretty selfishly over it all, I want to hug my son and my granddaughter.
I would absolutely love to hug my mom and I wish she was still here to help me deal with this new normal. I find myself silently asking her what she would do right now if she was alive. I’m fairly certain she would have some wise words to share with me about how to navigate this mess. She would probably tell me to meditate and eat good food. She might say “Leah, enlightenment is eating your rice and washing your bowl”. She would definitely tell me to focus on the present, to pay attention to my own self and the things in my life that I still have some control over, and to not fret over the things that I don’t. Ironically, I rarely actually listened to the advice that she so eagerly gave. She began telling me to meditate when I was 16 years old and I think I’ve done it all of 5 times. But it would be nice to hear her tell me what to do nonetheless.
I don’t know if your news feeds have been inundated with a frenzy of grief related posts for the last several weeks, but mine definitely has. I suppose it all makes perfect sense, this pandemic is bringing grief up in all sorts of unexpected places. Grieving the way life used to be, for instance, so it’s not surprising to me that I seem to be entering into this new phase of grief, also. It comes and goes in waves, as grief does. Today I’m fine. Who knows how I’ll be tomorrow.
So what am I doing about this new, unexpected stage of grief? Mostly nothing, to be honest. I drink a glass of wine at a slightly earlier hour everyday. I bitch at my husband for no good reason. I obsessively clean the house that is already clean by anyone else’s standards. I have renewed my love for Kate and Anna McGarrigle’s song, Love Over and Over, and have it on repeat. What I am not doing is exercising and “getting into the best shape of my life”. I am most certainly not making artisanal sourdough like a boss. Despite all of my grief stricken, menopausal, somewhat erratic behaviour, there are two oils that keep coming up that are oddly very appropriate.
Cypress & Rose:
Cypress has been my go-to oil for grief ever since I can remember. I first learned about it when I was in Aromatherapy school way back in 1996.
Cypress is helpful if you are going through painful transitions such as bereavement or ending of close relationships. It is always my oil of choice for deep uncontrollable grief because it exudes strength and energetic protection.
Interestingly, Cypress’s strong antiseptic properties also make it an effective remedy for chronic asthma, bronchitis, and whooping cough. It’s also one of my favourite choices for stimulating the lymphatic system, and it is great for treating varicose veins.
As most of us know, Rose is renown as the universal oil for the heart. Rose is also one of the most complex oils that we know of. It is comprised of over 300 different chemical compounds, the majority of which are still unidentified. Rose opens the heart when grief has closed it down, eases sorrow and comforts the soul. When you are in need of love, there is no comparison to Rose. It eases anxiety and depression, helps with sleep and menopausal symptoms, and is fantastic for your complexion among a plethora of other things. If you are a woman in any stage of life, you absolutely need Rose in your aromatic medicine cabinet.
If you are feeling sad or depressed or just feeling a general sense of malaise, a simple blend of these two oils in a roller bottle or in a personal inhaler is a game changer for lifting feelings of grief and sorrow. Add in a little Kate & Anna and you’re golden.
Personal Inhaler Recipe